Dear Friends,
In June, I'm celebrating a milestone birthday! As you might expect, the
milestone has brought its share of reevaluation of all aspects of my life. As a
result, I was inspired to share this month's insight with you again. Accept Your
Own Flawed Brilliance is a reprint from late 2007 and one of my favorite
articles. Enjoy.
My best to you!
Claudette
Accept Your Own Flawed Brilliance
There is a definition of self-acceptance that I've
embraced lately: Flawed brilliance. Think about it. We are each brilliant AND flawed in our own unique ways.
Developing a greater understanding of the depth and breadth of your brilliance,
while accepting your flaws with grace, will lead not only to a fuller
understanding of yourself, but also to a deeper acceptance.
For example, what do you consistently repress within yourself? This is a great
place to look for brilliance and flaws. No clue? Try scanning
your life for places in which you feel routinely stuck, frustrated or have a
consistently negative response to certain situations. Consistent negative responses
often work like lids hiding the contents of your pot of brilliance – something yet uncovered about you
that makes you great. Lift the lid and see what's inside. In other
words, ask yourself, "What's beneath this reaction?"
So many of us use common beliefs and actions to cover up accurate, positive views of ourselves. Consider the following
behaviors. Do you:
- Let other people assign value to you? Don't. You're the only
person who can decide what you're worth.
- Try to control others' perceptions of you, even though you know this is an
impossible task? People will perceive you however they're going to perceive you.
Attempting to control their perceptions only leads to heartache and
misery. Try not to worry about other people's perceptions. Instead, act in a way that's congruent with who you are and your
sense of integrity -- and that will shine through brightly.
- Mostly notice what you do wrong? Stop! Start noticing what
you do right. I challenge you to keep a running list of everything you well for
the next week. The length of this list may surprise you.
Recognizing the ways we block our brilliance – while identifying
opportunities to build self acceptance – is critical. Here are
three gateways to acceptance.
- Trust yourself and trust what you want. Self-trust is a
challenge. Practice trusting yourself, your instincts and your desires.
- Name it – then own it. In other words, own your accomplishments and your flaws
equally. Typically, we hide behind one or the other. This strategy does not work
because it leaves us focusing only on our flaws or touting our accomplishments while
refusing to take an honest look at ourselves. We all have tremendous
accomplishments and we all have tremendous flaws. Make peace with this fact and
you'll change your life dramatically.
- Stop over-owning and under-owning. Often in order to feel like we have more
control in a situation (the perception of more control lessens our feeling that
life is an uncertain proposition at best), we'll take too much ownership in a
situation or not enough. We become over–responsible or seek to avoid
responsibility altogether.
Through greater self-acceptance, it's easier to transform any situation simply
by shifting our thoughts and, in turn, our emotional responses. When
we accept ourselves more fully, we judge ourselves less, we value
ourselves more and this state allows us to observe our internal and
external worlds more objectively. As the observer, you create a
buffer of space that gives you the opportunity to be more detached
from a situation, its circumstances and outcome. Through the act of
detaching, you are able to transform your perception of a situation
– which shifts your thoughts and your emotional response.
Whenever I say the words "flawed brilliance," the image of diamonds comes to
mind. Some of the most expensive and most sought-after diamonds in the world
contain minor flaws. Yet they're still brilliant, valued and sought
after. If you honored
your brilliance and your flaws – both without judgment – how would you transform
your life in this moment? I encourage you to ask yourself this question daily.
The outcome will probably surprise you in the very best possible way.
return
to top
Products & Services
If you liked today's issue, you'll love these services!
- Coaching with Claudette. What do you want in your
life? NOW is the time to identify what's next for you. Let's
explore career options, strategic focus and professional
development.
Please contact me today for more information and to schedule your
introductory coaching session. Reach me directly at
781.316.1923 or
claudette@metavoice.org.
- Looking for a speaker? I present regularly at
conferences, professional organizations and companies across the
country. I'd love to present at your next event. For more
information on my topics, style and contact information, please
visit here:
http://www.metavoice.org/presentations.
return
to top
Useful Resources
- Improv Wisdom by Patricia Ryan Madsen. Madsen's premise is
that we all make up life as we go along, whether we plan or not. I love this
book! It's chock full of practical and wise insights about the best ways to
approach life for joyful, wise and inspiring results.
- Quote by Walker Percy: "To become aware of the possibility of the
search is to be on to something."
return
to top
