Dear Friends,
Happy spring! Here in New England, our winter was long, hard and snowy. In
fact, I've just said hello to some neighbors for the first time since
November. Unless we were outside shoveling at the same time, we literally
haven't seen each other. The upside to a hard winter is that it makes us cherish
the return of green trees, colorful flowers and blue skies.
This month's insight focuses on communication - which can also be a source of
challenge and/or pleasure depending on your perspective and your skill set. I
hope you leave this issue with positive tips to enhance both!
I'd also like to highlight the Useful Resources section. The publisher of my
book (to be published in 2009 - stay tuned!) Inkstone Press, has launched a new
online magazine. I encourage you to check it out!
My best to you!
Claudette
Under Stress? Express Yourself!
Have you ever noticed that under stress, we often communicate less
effectively? The "under stress, we regress" syndrome kicks in and sometimes we
might as well be speaking a foreign language. When our stress levels are
heightened, even normally clear communication can get short circuited.
Stressful times are usually the most important times to communicate with
clarity, consciousness and intention. Whether you're at work or at home,
focusing on how, when and where you communicate can make a
noticeable difference in the reactions, connections and cooperation you get from
others. Here are four tips for staying on the path to glitch-free communication:
- Agree on your communication ground rules. Who do you communicate
with frequently in your professional or personal lives? Identify these
people and consider designing your communication with them. In other words,
how do you want to handle conflict or tension between you? What's the
atmosphere you want to create in the relationship? What are other "rules"
that you want to consciously agree on? This strategy can be used effectively
in one on one relationships and with teams or groups.
- Stay off the horsemen. Dr. John Gottman, author and researcher,
describes the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" in communication:
defensiveness, blame/criticism, stonewalling and contempt. Whenever we mount
one of these "horses", we've ceased to listen or truly communicate. I
encourage you to notice the role these four horses play in your life. When
confronted with a sensitive issue, do you tend to get defensive? When you're
upset or angry, do you stonewall? How effective is your and others'
communication at that point?
- If the answer doesn't have energy, it's the wrong answer. Whether
you're communicating with yourself, one other person or a whole group, if
the answer you come up with doesn't heighten the energy, make people feel
better or open a new host of possibilities, there's a good chance it' s the
wrong answer. A right answer - even if it might require tough actions-has
energy, hope and a sense of potential.
- If you're confused, so is everyone else. Whether you're in a
business relationship or a personal one, if you're feeling unclear about
what you're communicating or the best way to communicate it, the recipients
of your communication will feel as confused as you do. It's important to get
clear about the message you intend to convey. Be a transparent communicator.
People can't discern the intentions, the goal or even the history behind
your communication unless you tell them. Consider erring on the side of
"over- communicating" and observe the results.
Use the tips above to brush up, augment or refresh your communication.
Communication is one of the most basic ways that we relate as humans and we do
it all day long, so it behooves us to make it as clear, easy and intentional as
we can. The ability to communicate your intentions, thoughts and feelings is one
of the powerful ways you can express yourself. So the next time you're under
stress, express!
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Products & Services
If you liked today's issue, you'll love these services!
-
Looking for a speaker? I present
regularly at conferences, professional organizations and
companies across the country. I'd love to present at your next
event. For more information on my topics, style and contact
information, please visit here:
http://www.metavoice.org/presentations.
- Coaching with Claudette. What do you want to create
for your life this year? I'd love to help you conceive what you
want, build your belief that it's possible, and be open to
receiving it. Let's explore career options, strategic focus and
professional development.
Please contact me today for more information and to schedule your
introductory coaching session. Reach me directly at
781.316.1923 or
claudette@metavoice.org.
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Useful Resources
- Magazine Launch: No Limits is a free, downloadable
e-magazine devoted to topics of personal growth and self-empowerment;
business and individual success; abundance and happiness; motivation and
inspiration; health and well-being. More than mere snippets, No
Limits gives the reader compact substance while offering a wide
range of practical tips to apply.
No Limits is published
every second week. Get yours now!
Click here to
download the first issue and to sign up.
No Limits is published by Inkstone Press, also the publisher of my
book, which will hit the shelves this year! Stay tuned for specific
publication dates and details.
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