Dear Friends,
Happy March! This month's insight reflects on the importance of defining
yourself – an experience that can be described as uncomfortable and exhilarating
all at the same time.
Throughout our lifespan, I've observed that our purpose continues to morph,
expand and evolve. My personal evolution has begun to take an environmental
turn. 
Each month, in the Useful Resources section, I'll include an
environmentally-friendly resource. Small changes – whether they're personal or
environmental – do make a difference.
My best to you!
Claudette
Define Yourself
I recently dreamed that I was sentenced to 30 days in jail. It was a
four-in-the-morning kind of dream, the kind that makes you toss and turn, wake
up for a minute, roll over, go back to sleep and resume the dream. Vivid in most
detail, the dream omitted one critical element – the crime I had committed. That
detail was bleary. I think maybe I'd removed the wrong library book off of a
shelf. (No, I'm not joking).
You don't have to be Freud to deduce that I've been feeling a bit trapped in my
life lately. But unlike actual imprisonment, feeling trapped in life is often
instructional – simply because it's an illusion. It's like the elephant with its
leg tied to a wooden stake. The elephant is strong enough to break the stake and
free itself, but doesn't realize it. It stays tied to the stake only because
it's been conditioned to do so.
Although we're smarter than elephants, we do sometimes seem to stand with one
leg tied to a stake for no reason other than conditioning. After having done
some time in my own trap (I've since freed myself, by the way), I noticed that
the way out was a heavy dose of what I call "self-definition."
Self-definition is a process. It's an excavation of the soul. It requires us to
honestly, deeply and completely answer some challenging questions:
- What do I want?
- What excites me?
- How do I hold myself back?
- How do I allow fear to hold me back?
- How can I be courageous enough to do what I need to do?
- What's my place in the world?
Answering these questions truthfully may not be easy. I challenge you to
answer them for each area of your life and notice what you uncover. When I asked
myself "What do I want?" I heard two answers. The first: I wanted more sleep.
The second and more important answer: I wanted to stop meeting everyone else's
needs before my own. I'd fallen into a habit of superseding my own needs much of
the time and this response was taking its toll – between my son, my clients,
friends, family, and various and sundry other people, I was losing myself in a
sea of needs. I'd become tethered to that stake.
Self-definition is about finding the places, conditions and mindsets in which
you sparkle and shine, in which you stay focused on your desire and move away
from your fear. It helps you notice those times that you pull back and stop
yourself just as you get started. You begin to see the many little thoughts and
actions that together add up to sabotaging yourself.
Finally, you decide to make different choices. Once you step onto that path, you
begin to define YOURSELF rather than allowing other people, beliefs and
circumstances to determine your identity, life path and course of action.
Self-definition is not about focusing on the specific "hows" and "whats": how
will I get there, what if I don't like it, what if I don't make it, what if I
fail, what if I succeed, what are the steps to take, which are the best actions?
Work to avoid these questions – they will instantaneously suck the life out of
your beautiful, new self-definition. These questions are based in doubt, rather
than faith. Once you are firmly grounded in what is true for you – the "how" and
"what" tend to reveal themselves more clearly.
Focus on what YOU want. Then trust that it's right for you. Trust is key here –
trust in yourself, trust in the universe, and trust that the right things will
happen at exactly the right time. You do that, and you will not be trapped. Your
leg will not tied to a stake, and that my friends, is freedom.
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Products & Services
If you liked today's issue, you'll love these services!
- Coaching with Claudette. Are you facing a transition?
Unsure of what you really want or the best way to achieve it? If
the answer is "yes" to any of these questions – there's no time
like the present to use your transition as the springboard into a
better life!
Please contact me today for more information and to schedule your
introductory coaching session. Reach me directly at
781.316.1923 or
claudette@metavoice.org.
- Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I'm a long time fan of the
MBTI – this instrument is one of the reasons I became a coach.
Here's how it works: I send you the MBTI, score it for you and
spend an hour with you (via phone) helping you apply the results
to your life – personally and professionally. For more
information, please visit
http://www.metavoice.org/mbriggs.
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Useful Resources
- Wisdom from Alan Alda. I love this quote by the actor Alan Alda. "You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can't get there by bus, only
by hard work, risking, and by not quite knowing what you're doing. What you'll
discover will be wonderful – yourself."
- Catalogchoice.org. Did you know that each year 8 million trees are
used in the production of paper catalogs?
CatalogChoice.org is a free service that helps you unsubscribe to individual
catalogs you no longer wish to receive, which helps to preserve precious
natural resources.
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