Fr*ee Yourself from the Time-Money Trap

“I’d really like to… but I don’t have time.”
“I wish I could… but I can’t afford it.”

How often do you make statements like these? Do you feel like time and money run your life?

I call this common phenomenon the “Time-Money Trap.” It starts out as a handy excuse for something we don’t want to buy or do. After all, who among us doesn’t sometimes feel like there isn’t enough time in the day or money in the wallet? When we hear those excuses, we back off and accept them – even when we’re the ones making the excuses.

Yet in reality, this easy excuse is a trap – but it’s also an opportunity to learn what makes us tick. The Time-Money Trap works like a smokescreen obscuring the real reasons we don’t want to do something. Peering through the smoke to the real reasons shaping our reactions helps us understand our motivations – and ourselves.

The next time you hear yourself say, “I don’t have time or money to do what I want to do,” consider what time and money obscure for you. Once you lift the lid off of the “Time-Money Trap, you might be surprised by what you find. Consider the following ideas:

• What you “afford” is a choice. Yes, that’s right - affording is a choice. If you observe yourself closely, you’ll notice that when you want to “afford” those new shoes, that stereo equipment or nice dinner out, you usually do. When you experience discomfort with a decision or situation, you may tell yourself that you “can’t afford” it.
• Stagnating in the Time-Money Trap allows us to be less than honest with ourselves. We stop ourselves from acknowledging what we want and what’s important to us.
• The time and money rationalizations are often code for “I’m afraid.” I’m afraid of what my spouse will say if I spend that money. I’m afraid of how guilty I’ll feel if I spend time with myself instead of my kids.
• No time, no money can also be an easy way to avoid looking at big changes that might need to occur in your relationships, your work or your lifestyle.

The Time-Money Trap is rooted in the concepts of scarcity and abundance. To apply these concepts easily, view your dilemma through four different perspectives:

• Time is scarce.
• Money is scarce.
• Time is abundant.
• Money is abundant.

Notice how you feel when you read each statement. Where do your thoughts go? How’s your energy?

Consider the story of Randy, a client who was experiencing an inner turmoil he assumed was related to money issues. He was trying to switch from one career to another when his wife announced her desire to purchase a vacation home. The financial repercussions of the combined scenarios sent his thoughts reeling. “If we buy a second home, I can’t afford to change careers,” he said. “But I know my wife must really have her heart set on a second home.”

Yet when Randy took a moment to clear away the Time-Money smokescreen from his thoughts, he discovered his angst came from poor communication with his wife. She didn’t understand how strongly he longed to change professions and he feared he wasn’t living up to her financial expectations. After a long talk, they agreed to shelve the vacation home idea until Randy became established in his new career, at which point the second home would become their priority.

Randy’s experience behooves each of us to question:

• By focusing on time and money, what am I avoiding?
• If this isn’t about time or money, what is it really about?
• If I had plenty of time and money, what would still make me uncomfortable about this situation?
• If time and money were no longer perceived obstacles, what would I want to do or be? What would I want? What would I fear?

You may experience resistance to these questions. We’re so firmly conditioned to believe that time and money are the obstacles we truly believe they are.

Remember, the Time-Money Trap isn’t really about time and money. They’re so closely linked to our values, desires and fears, that it’s easy to confuse one with the other. So take back your power - free yourself from the Time-Money Trap. Do it today and watch an abundant transformation unfold.

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Savvy Resources

• Perry Internet Consulting. Marsha Perry maintains my website and is the technical wizard for this e-zine. She’s a consummate professional and a pleasure to have on my team. I highly recommend her! Check out her website http://www.perryweb.com.
  
  
• Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin is a financial classic that offers alternative ways to think about money. The back cover of the book sums it up, "Does your money own you? There’s a difference between ‘making a living’ and making a life."
  
  
• Are you an eternal optimist or dyed-in-the-wool pessimist? Either way, Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman is a must-read. Based on 20 years of clinical research, Dr. Seligman shows us how an optimistic outlook truly does change our perceptions and behaviors.

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Insights for the Savvy is written and produced by Claudette Rowley.  If you have questions or comments, please send them to info@metavoice.org.  To find out more about Claudette and her coaching services, visit http://www.metavoice.org or call 781.316.1923.

Copyright 2002-2008, Claudette Rowley. All Rights Reserved.

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