Support Yourself
"You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top
yourself."
--H. Norman Schwarzkopf
Is it better to go it alone or navigate life with a support system of
friends, colleagues and people in your community who care about you and what you
do? Most people probably nod their heads and say, “Yes, of course; establishing
a support system is important.” But in practice, our tendency is to believe that
operating alone shows resilience, strength and a stiff upper lip.
What constitutes a support system? It’s a collection of friends, family,
colleagues and acquaintances who show a keen interest in listening, discussing
and guiding – without judgment. “Without judgment” is key. You can’t support and
judge at the same time. It’s not possible; if someone tells you it is, run the
other way – fast!
What stops us from building a strong and vibrant network? Perhaps we want to
show the world that we’re strong and invincible. After all, we think, wouldn’t
asking for even occasional assistance give the perception that we’re vulnerable?
We fear these consequences – whether they’re real or imagined. And this hurts us
– personally and professionally.
Yet cultivating a healthy support network nets many benefits:
- You feel better on all levels – mentally, emotionally, physically and
spiritually.
- Your productivity increases. Look at any successful person and you’ll see
an individual surrounded by an active support network of friends and advisors.
- Your health improves. When we rely on a support system, our stress
decreases and we rely less on other props, including food, alcohol or
overwork.
- Your life feels richer and fuller. As you form more connections, you
recognize that each one, whether they’re acquaintances, colleagues or intimate
friends – serves a distinct and meaningful purpose in your life.
Sound impossible? It’s not. Start by thinking through the
following questions and you’ll have a good sense of how to build a
network that fits your lifestyle:
- What does support look like to you? How do you feel when you’re being
supported?
- What’s working in your current support system? What’s missing?
- What “rules” do you make up about asking for help? For example, I
recognized a rule that it was only okay to hire a babysitter for my son when I
needed coverage for work – rather than for fun or self-care.
- What does your ideal support network look like? How many people? What
environments? How would you ideally communicate and interact with your
friends, family or colleagues?
- If you could order the perfect support system, what would change? How
would you benefit? Get clear – write it down and post the description in a
prominent spot.
Imagine receiving an abundance of support. Imagine it at home, at
work and anywhere else that’s important to you. Imagine knowing
there’s a safety net beneath you at all times – people prepared to
catch you if you fall and ready to celebrate when you succeed.
Most importantly, remember that life is not a solo act. We’re meant to be
interdependent, to connect with others, to form communities of like-minded
people.
So get out there! Weave a strong, healthy support network and watch yourself
grow and succeed beyond your wildest dreams.
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Savvy Resources
- The Foundation for Critical Thinking. Does your thinking get in your way?
It probably does more often than you realize. The foundation is a great
resource for improving the quality and effectiveness of your thinking. Find
out more at http://www.criticalthinking.org/
- Anything by Ivan Misner. Dr. Misner founded Business Networking
International in 1985. He’s recognized as a networking master and his strategies
really work. Whether you’re a business owner or a professional seeking to expand
your network, his books will steer you in a successful direction.
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. This beautiful and acclaimed novel
illustrates the power of following our dreams. It’s also a powerful example of
how the world conspires to support us when we follow our hearts.
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Insights for the Savvy is written and produced by Claudette Rowley. If you have questions or comments, please send them to
info@metavoice.org. To find out more about Claudette and her coaching services, visit
http://www.metavoice.org or call 781.316.1923.
Copyright 2002-2008, Claudette Rowley. All Rights Reserved.
MetaVoice, Inc.
125 Sylvia St.
Arlington, MA
02476
US
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