Insights for the Savvy

Issue #36
March 7, 2006

By Claudette Rowley
MetaVoice Coaching & Consulting

In This Issue...

• Note from Claudette

• Here's What You Need to Know

• ** Insight of the Month ** Integrity

• Quotes from Different Voices

Due to a technical difficulty, this newsletter is arriving in
your mailbox a few days late, but just in time for a dose of
Monday morning inspiration!

This month’s insight is on integrity. Read it and start to
observe circumstances in which you settle for less than you are
or less than you deserve. This practice can be eye-opening and
reveal great opportunities for growth and change.

My best to you for a great month!

Claudette

Here's What You Need To Know

Insight of the Month

Integrity

“What’s terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first- rate, that you don’t need love when you do or that you like your
work when you know quite well you’re capable of better.”
- Doris Lessing

My dictionary’s definition of integrity: “Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.”

My own simpler, though less elegant, definition of integrity is doing the right thing when the right thing is hard to do. Sometimes the most challenging integrity to honor is the integrity to which there is no witness – the kind in which the only person you’re accountable to is yourself.

If asked, most of us would say we are individuals of integrity. Yet the business of daily life can crack our integrity, leaving fissures of unacknowledged desires and pools of choices made for approval rather than authenticity. Bit by bit, day by day, we lower our standards and settle for less, telling ourselves that “It’s no big deal.”

A client recounted this story. “I want to get back in shape and just hired a personal trainer. I showed up for the first session holding a cup of coffee.” Not the mark of someone ready for a workout. This client recognized that showing up to exercise with a cup of coffee in hand screamed her commitment level to the world: Zilch.

Part and parcel of integrity is the ability to have compassion for ourselves, and the awareness that we only deceive ourselves when we fear the action honesty would require. At some level, we know that if we clean up a lack of integrity in one area of life, we’ll need to apply the broom to more and more areas. This thought can range from mildly daunting to absolutely terrifying.

Still, it’s a task worth examining. Consider these clues that your actions may out of alignment with your integrity. You:

* Tell yourself one thing – but do another. Notice when
your actions speak louder than words.
* Hear yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say
“NO!”
* Tell yourself you have no choice. Notice when you fail
to take responsibility for your choices and decisions.
Also notice when you try to take too much
responsibility for your choices and decisions.
* Pretend that second rate is first rate?
* Put yourself last. Be aware of how you’re treating
yourself. Do you treat yourself well? What do you say
about yourself?
* Frequently choose approval over authenticity.

Over time, all the “yes’s” that were really “no’s” add up and drain us of valuable energy and self-worth. At the same time, it’s easy to see why we choose approval over authenticity or tell ourselves one thing and do another. Acting with integrity requires courage, sticking to your guns or saying what no one wants to hear. You may be forced to uphold a boundary or stretch in new ways.

Refusing to settle for less can be exhilarating; there’s a clear-headedness and crispness that accompanies setting boundaries and standing your ground. You stand up straighter. You hold your head higher. You ooze that magnetic self confidence that attracts others to you.

So be honest with yourself. Where are you out of integrity? Have years of compromising your ideals for other people’s desires whittled you down? It’s never too late to turn the tide. Start today by having a good ole’ fashioned “come to Jesus” conversation with yourself. And then take action!

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Different Voices

“That which oppresses me, is it my soul trying to come out in the open, or the soul of the world knocking at my heart for its
entrance?”
-Rabindranath Tagore

“I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me.”
- Herman Hesse
Prologue to Demian

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