Answers
During a recent coaching session, a client posed this insightful
question: "Why are we so scared of the answers in our lives?"
What she was getting at is that we often, at a deep level, know
the answers to the questions we ask ourselves, even if there are
barriers to acknowledging them.
In times of self-reflection, questions such as "What's holding
me back? What will fulfill me? What do I need to do to be true
to myself?" pepper our thoughts. While I believe that we all
have the answers we seek, sometimes they are so obscured by
limiting beliefs, our inner critic and social conditioning that
we simply can't connect to them. And sometimes, we're just not
ready to see the answer. Timing is everything.
There are times, though, when we ARE ready to look at an answer
and take the action it directs us to take. Even then, we may tap
dance around the truth, looking under bushes and barrels for an
alternative when it's just about as obvious as the nose on your
face. What we often don't realize is that we suffer more when we
don't acknowledge what's true.
Here are a few reasons why we avoid the answers that reveal
themselves:
Acknowledging the answer feels too risky.
Looking at an answer squarely in the face would require taking
action.
Taking action on an answer would require us to fly into the
face of our social conditioning, which is enough to inspire
terror in most of us.
To us, the answer seems unthinkable, unspeakable or
unendurable.
We tell ourselves that the answer would adversely affect other
people.
Acting on an answer will result in great change in our life.
Try this exercise: Examine different components of your life -
for example, your career, family, friendships, health, and
physical environment. Really ask yourself the questions in the
second paragraph. You could also ask, "Is there a truth I need
to tell? Am I avoiding an answer that's right in front of me?
What am I afraid to look at?"
No matter how scary an answer is, it's empowering to heed its
call. It's a way to honor who you are, and harness your personal
power. You will need courage, and a willingness to tell the
truth and entertain uncertainty for a period of time. In the
end, however, it's heeding the answers in your life and taking
the requisite action that frees you to be fully and brilliantly
who you are.
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Now It's Your Turn
Different Voices
We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never
forget. We forget what we whispered and what we dreamed. We
forget who we were. - Joan Didion
When your ship, long moored in harbour, gives you the
illusion of being a house...put out to sea! Save your boat's
journeying soul, and your own pilgrim soul, cost what it may. - Brazilian Archbishop Helder Camara
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Insights for the Savvy is written and produced by
Claudette Rowley. If you have questions or comments, please send
them to
info@metavoice.org. To
find out more about Claudette and her coaching services, visit
http://www.metavoice.org or call 781.676.5633.
Copyright 2002-2004, Claudette Rowley. All Rights Reserved.
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