Sign Your Own Permission Slip
Growing up, permission slips were a big part of school life -
essential to participating in special projects, field trips, or
class trips out of state. For me to take part in any adventure
outside of the classroom, my mother or father had to sign the
slip. Now, as an adult, I can sign my own permission slip. In
fact, I don't even need one! Yet I realize how often I don't
give myself permission to be who I want to be or do what I want
to do.
How many times have you decided that you wanted something, and
then denied yourself permission to have it or even ask for it?
In my experience, here are the top ten beliefs that cause people
to deny themselves permission to want what they want:
I can't afford it.
I don't deserve it.
What will other people think? Someone might not like it.
"In my family, we don't desire things like that. My parents had
the same sofa for twenty years. Why should I be any
different?"
What if I get it and decide that I don't like it?
I might fail.
I might succeed.
I can't have THAT (it's too big, too small, too expensive, too
fill-in-the-blank).
I'll have to step outside of my comfort zone.
And the essence of all resistance: "I am afraid."
Here's the antidote to these limiting beliefs: YOU GET TO WANT
WHAT YOU WANT. It's that simple. You get to want what you want
without judging it or measuring its merit or any justification at
all.
Here is an example from my own life. Recently, I've been paying
closer attention to what I want and how quick I sometimes am to
deny myself. For instance, I'm developing some new strategic
alliances in my business. I've noticed how rapidly limiting
beliefs, such as, "Don't even bother to call that person. She
won't return your call." will surface. If I don't stay conscious
and aware, I'm stopped in my tracks. I have to keep recognizing
what I want and giving myself full permission to have it without
judgment.
Here are some steps to get you started:
Recognize what you want.
Refrain from judgment.
Give yourself permission to want what you want.
Take the action required -- for example, asking, buying, giving.
Notice what opportunities open up for you and what opens up
inside of you.
Following these steps may feel uncomfortable; you might feel
fear. That's okay. These are simply signs that you are moving
away from what's been comfortable to you. You are growing!
Each time you acknowledge what you want, refrain from judging it
and act on it, you enter the flow of life. Life wants to give
you what you want. Our socialization (see ten limiting beliefs
above) tends to complicate matters and have us believe otherwise.
Recognizing what you want and giving it to yourself is a skill.
And like most new skills, it requires building the "muscle." The
more you work the muscle, the easier it is to move.
In the end, you are the only one who can sign your own permission
slip. As 2003 draws to a close, what's the permission slip you
want to sign?
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Now It's Your Turn
Here's What You Need To Know
Different Voices
"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair.
We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business,
because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to
jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way
down." - Ray Bradbury
"The habitual and reactive 'no' strengthens the ego. 'Yes'
weakens it. Your form identity, the ego, cannot survive
surrender." - Eckhart Tolle
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Insights for the Savvy is written and produced by
Claudette Rowley. If you have questions or comments, please send
them to
info@metavoice.org. To
find out more about Claudette and her coaching services, visit
http://www.metavoice.org or call 781.676.5633.
Copyright 2003, Claudette Rowley. All Rights Reserved.
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